tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post2346768711734626095..comments2024-03-13T09:26:28.888+00:00Comments on Ashley R Pollard: BigDog Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666947574653683678noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post-74872786947634801602016-12-17T15:01:17.071+00:002016-12-17T15:01:17.071+00:00Glad to be of service. Cheers!Glad to be of service. Cheers!SkilTaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15496366094516039415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post-23605180311481677122016-12-16T18:15:54.418+00:002016-12-16T18:15:54.418+00:00You've caught one cut an paste error, so thank...You've caught one cut an paste error, so thanks for that.<br /><br />As for Special Forces Snake Eaters, it's a description of American Special Forces troops who have to eat snakes as part of their survival training.<br /><br />The only easy day is yesterday is a military phrase, and yes it means exactly that.<br /><br />So a good catch on those things. Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13666947574653683678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post-47674069980411976622016-12-16T17:47:16.758+00:002016-12-16T17:47:16.758+00:00Some minor things:
I don't understand the phr...<b>Some minor things:</b><br /><br />I don't understand the phrase "Special Forces Snake-Eater" - is it a force <i>called</i> Snake-Eater, or is the force <i>comprised of</i> Snake-Eaters? (Should "Force<b>s</b>" lose the pluralizing "s" or maybe "Snake-Eater" gain one?) <br /><br />I'm assuming "an Alpha detachment" is a specific type of detachment, rather than the usual "First Battalion of Regiment X" kind of thing. (I wouldn't question the intent behind this were I not already confused about the meaning of "Special Forces Snake-Eater.")<br /><br />A nitpick: should "<b>that</b> had crashed" be "<b>who</b> had crashed"?<br /><br /><br /><b>A middling thing:</b><br /><br />The sentence with the 1st LARC and the space-plane is long and full. I'd suggest breaking it up, though I don't see how. <br /><br /><br /><b>Things which make me think you changed the paragraph order around:</b><br /><br />I don't think you can say "<b>Now</b> they're preparing" and then describe events which happen afterwards. <br /><br />I think the fact she died is important enough to be a statement of its own, rather than a mere transition to something else. <br /><br />Doesn't the motto "the only easy day is yesterday" mean every day is hard? (Not military and don't talk with SEALs, so I don't know.) If so (or close enough), transitioning directly from "just another day" doesn't feel right; and with the adage being "proved," I don't think the "How hard can it be" at the end works cleanly either. <br /><br /><br />If you'll forgive the presumption, I'd suggest moving her death and the old adage, like so: <br /><br /><i> For Sergeant Tachikoma aboard CSN Hornet it was just another day in the Corps. Then she dies in a nuclear explosion--and wakes the previous morning, to relive the same day all over again. <br /><br /> She finds herself going crazy as the 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Company once again prepares to fly into Afghanistan and rescue an Alpha Detachment of Special Forces Snake-Eater that had crashed their Aries sub-orbital space-plane during a Top Secret mission.<br /><br /> She decides it's better to get even with those who blew her and the rest of the Company up. Her plan is simple: stop the bomb going off, and get on with the rest of her life.<br /><br /> They say the only easy day is yesterday--how hard can it be?</i>SkilTaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15496366094516039415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post-48469730134091238772016-12-16T15:19:50.380+00:002016-12-16T15:19:50.380+00:00Permission to be as finicky as you want.Permission to be as finicky as you want. Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13666947574653683678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1880686624845718403.post-13831559369051977082016-12-16T15:01:31.994+00:002016-12-16T15:01:31.994+00:00I think it has all the right elements. Are you loo...I think it has all the right elements. Are you looking for finicky details to polish?SkilTaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15496366094516039415noreply@blogger.com